So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This baby is an asshole
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
