So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
