allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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