does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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