dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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