So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
