im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That was an excessively violent trivia night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
