I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize