I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this boner is exhausting
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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