In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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