i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
