If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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