the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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