I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
two words...techno handjob
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
