Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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