Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
