He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
