oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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