Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize