what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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