Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
