that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize