my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I forget how to act sober
Randomize