playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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