ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
