You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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