my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
