Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
