could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
