my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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