In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
