it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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