hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
