he quoted the bible to break up with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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