I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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