walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
