I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
