Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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