He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
