You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
