At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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