she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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