So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
