Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
