my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
