You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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