So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
