If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
