like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
this will be a night to untag.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
