Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
