I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
