like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
