I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
