we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
