I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
