it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
