i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
