Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
