I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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