Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this will be a night to untag.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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