I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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