Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
barbara walters just said penis...
they need to just BURY HIM!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
