I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
