there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
