she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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