My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
