We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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