Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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