forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
