She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize