Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
