There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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