just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
