she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
