I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
