i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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