YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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