why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
