Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
